Winner of the monthly event based on Editors' Choice (24.02.22)

It always irked me how beautiful she was. Rather, it irked me how much more beautiful she was than me. Comparison really was what it came down to in the end— a comparison in all walks of life that built an insurmountable bridge between us. The long strands of lustrous brown hair. The smooth skin, like glass. Even her dainty limbs, always poised in a way that made her look less like a teenager struggling through life and more like an Austenian heroine. They all became objects of my ire.

With her hair arranged in delicate braids and her petite frame adorned in the flowing white sundress that she bought with child-like enthusiasm last summer, she looks prettier than ever. A casual on-looker would only notice how gorgeous she is, resting in her cocoon of silk and flowers. It would not cross their mind that this rosy girl at the peak of her youth could have been kissed by death. And yet, here she is in a black coffin with her name on the lid. That burning sensation of envy that for so long had coursed through my veins, is gone now.

For 20 years I had lived with a constant want to prove myself better than her. If she was the beauty, I wanted to be the brains. A drive to achieve academic excellence stemming less from a thirst for knowledge and more from a desire to outshine my sister consumed me, body and soul. Her warm nature made her behave in the most welcoming fashion towards me. However, all she ever received were cold, callous replies. Never had she tried to insinuate that we were competing. Never did she comment on my obvious jealousy. So lost was I in my own frenzy to win this competition that I had created in my mind that I failed to recognise her kindness, her love.

As I stare down towards her resting form lying peacefully in her coffin now, all I can feel is rage and pity. Rage towards myself for allowing this horrible emotion to command me so completely and utterly. Pity for her for having a sister who would taint her innocence and purity with such a despicable show of envy. I am at a loss of how I could ever harbour such feelings towards this wonderful creature who never intended me any harm.  

The words lazily marked during a particularly tedious literature class are coming back to me. "Jealousy, the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on." This is the first time I can understand the true brunt of the lines. It truly is like a dark spectre, lurking at the back of your consciousness. Steering you down regrettable lanes until you lose control over your actions. It is only when you have burnt all your bridges and are left with crippling feelings of regret that you realise the consequences of your deeds. Like I am, right now.